i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Randomize
