it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
