i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Dignity is for republicans.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
