Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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