I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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