Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
