i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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