I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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