I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I can't trust your balls anymore.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
