i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
