so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
