I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
