i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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