I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
She's like a pop up book from hell.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize