wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Randomize
