Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize