shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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