The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
