so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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