my mouth tastes like poor choices
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
