My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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