He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize