Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
