Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
