Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
