Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
