butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
My bed smells like the plague
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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