Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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