Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
