nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Randomize
