fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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