from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
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