He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Randomize
