I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
