so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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