eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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