he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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