I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
