recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
