go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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