omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
