Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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