Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
