The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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