Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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