i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
