Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
