i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
