yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
