Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
