How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize