The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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