see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
