it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
