1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
