I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
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