More tranny stories later!
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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