She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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