im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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